Blessed is the feeling.

It starts with the feeling. Creeping in your beings essence deriving from your thoughts. Then perpetuating into reality through your actions. Like the philosopher Lao Tzu stated "careful with your thoughts for they become your words. Careful with your words for they become your actions. Careful with your actions for they become your habits. Careful with your habits for they become your destiny". Its discipline and responsibility that is needed in your life to achieve the dreams you desire. Start with one change you wish to accomplish. Grow some huevos and do what it takes.


Since my teen years I fell into a vortex of weekly social gatherings which included the weekly alcohol consumption. Some weeks I could hold my ground while others it went as far as finding myself in a hospital with a dislocated elbow injury without knowing what happened. Fifteen years of my life went by in this blur. Waking up hung over feeling sick and not knowing why I was becoming an irritable person.


For a long time I had the thoughts of stopping the abuse. Subconsciously I knew the harm I was doing to myself although my addiction would never allow me to admit it. Programmed in a society that makes kids believe drinking is cool and normal. It seems more difficult to steer from this quick sand path of self destruction and health scarification.


I grew up around the ocean with a surfer dad whom always pushed me towards the healthy path. Amidst this blur I found myself lost watching on auto pilot as my life started fading quickly away. So many lost hours gone unproductively not towards accomplishing what I desire in this life time.


Deep within my emotional distress for change i found the necessary strength and discipline to follow a clean path finally after turning thirty years old. The universe gifted me with a knowledgeable friend whom is on a similar path of growth. With his guidance I found the courage within me to grow up beyond my excuses. Starting with nothing more than a simple change of thought and a burning desire I began shifting my attention back to where it must be. Reprograming my subconscious ideologies and habits so I can refocus my attention on the things that really matter. Shedding my latest decade long created self like a chameleon does his old skin. Leaving the past behind to move into the new present moment knowing that all begins with our conscious observations. If you begin to define yourself and feel as the person whom you seek to be then there is no way you won't become that person. Regardless of the obstacles you encounter you must be persistent, be resilient, have a burning desire and never give up on your goal.




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 Kailani Jabour

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